MOVarazzi

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

820. Let’s Wave in The Parking Lot and Pretend We Know Each Other

I have been blessed with one of “those” faces.  It is the type of face that looks exactly like everyone else.  When I was younger, I would often get mistaken for Charlize Theron, Reese Witherspoon, or Gwyneth Paltrow (not really, but please just play along).  Now I am no longer confused for a Hollywood starlet, but I am genericly and interchangeably assumed to be your next-door neighbor or sister’s hairdresser or that lady who works at the bank.  I am none of those things, but everyone thinks I am.

So it should come as no surprise that I have started waving to people I do not know. 

This morning, I was walking out of Starbucks and noticed a middle-aged businessman staring at me.  He was smiling and holding a bag of groceries.  The way he was looking at me was like, “Hey, you are good friends with my wife!  From carpool!  Are you going to completely ignore me now?”  So I did what I always do in a situation where I think I know one thing and am totally wrong:  I waved, said hello, then offered him a sip of my coffee. 

Upon opening my mouth, I could see that he was not looking at me after all, but actually at the sign behind me (“Try our new cinnamon latte!”).  I ducked my head down and pretended that I was not talking to him either, but instead to the person behind him (a homeless man with no teeth). 

Since homeless people with no teeth are usually crazy, my new best friend was more than happy to have a sip of my coffee as well as the rest of my bagel.



MOV

20 comments:

  1. Oh I have definitely done that. In fact, I actually honked my car horn and waved like a fool at someone I assumed was a friend only to learn that it was a stranger. Ack. At least I could just drive away and leave the other person completely confused.

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  2. Haha! I do that all the time. So embarrassing.

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  3. Oh MOV, I am in stitches! I wonder what Muse would have done? Oh yeah, she looks like a starlet. He definitely would have been staring at *her*!

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    1. Ah, Muse! She needs a post sometime soon, eh?

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    2. Definitely, we all get concerned for her safety if we don't hear how she is doing!

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  4. I have very poor eye-sight and know just about everyone in my neighborhood. I have come to the conclusion it's just safer to wave and smile and say hi to all the cars that pass by my house. Saves me a lot of trouble.

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  5. I've said hello to a mannequin before. It's because I thought it said hello to me.

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    1. Yes, but have you apologized to a mannequin for bumping into it?

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  6. I must have one of those faces too. I've had people say I look like someone they know. I should ask, "Is it someone you like?"
    I, too, misinterpret others stares or smiles and think they're directed my way. Then I pretend I'm waving at someone else. But I've never shared my coffee with a homeless man. I think I would just give it to him.

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  7. I had a man chase me down in the street, and breathlessly grab my arm, "Sarah! Didn't you hear me?"
    I looked at him, "My name isn't Sarah."
    His face flushed, "What are you playing at? And what did you do to your hair?"
    "My name is Leauxra, and stop touching me."
    Another time a guy I knew told me he didn't know I was in porn. What? Apparently, I have one of those faces, too. On the plus side, at one point, someone actually thought I was Gina Davis, so it isn't all bad.

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  8. So you're telling me that all I have to do to get free coffee and bagels is find some stranger that has them and then pretend I know them?

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    1. If I am the stranger, then apparently: yes.

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  9. Oh dear! Ha ha. I love a post that makes me chuckle. :) xx

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  10. I am so glad the internet exists, purely because it allowed me to read this.

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  11. Who do people think I am? A long time ago someone said I looked just like Janis Joplin, but I don't think I've been mistaken for anyone except Janie.

    Love,
    Lola

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  12. I did that to someone at the mall once. I thought it was someone I went to school with, but after the third no, I felt utterly embarassed.

    Great post!

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  13. I am embarrassed for you. Sometimes, I see my mother in other people, and I start talking to who I think is her in Spanish. There's really no saving myself from that.

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  14. I am always mistaken for someone's teacher, not the nursing students I have actually taught through the years but an elementary school teacher. I always get "Hi! Do you remember me, you taught my son a couple years ago in third grade." Now in reality, I am the last person in the world you would want to teach your small children, I don't like small children and fear that at the end of the day every parent would find their children hanging from a clothesline I would have installed in the classroom to keep them out of my way. The ones that got away would be wandering the streets because I didn't even notice or care they were gone.

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  15. haha this story has made my day. Do what I do when at starbucks. When asked for a name for your order to be put on your cup I always take on a new persona. With that being said I just might be someone that someone knows.

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